It’s gotten to the point of me realizing there’s no way in hell I can afford the top surgery I scheduled. And it’s kinda heartbreaking.

I only scheduled it as soon as I did, because my dad said that whatever money needs to be paid, he’ll pay.

Then I found out he hadn’t taken his meds since July. Which really explains why he was okay with spending the money and why he screamed at me for something super small.

It’s just. I feel dumb for having the hope that I could get top surgery. I feel really, really dumb.

I work 25 hours most weeks, and I pick up extra shifts when I have the energy. I’m in high school. I have college classes for fucks sake.

I’m just sad.