to be honest, people need to stop acting as if lesbians have to be absolutely disgusted and repulsed by the idea of dating a man (or being sexually involved with a man) in order to be a lesbian.
this kind of mindset leads to women telling themselves “oh, i guess i could tolerate being with that man. if i had to be with him, i don’t think i would vehemently hate it.” and they literally think that means they can’t be a lesbian?? which is far from the truth, in fact, if you’re telling yourself things like this you’re most likely a lesbian.
attraction is supposed to feel good. not tolerable. if you say things like “if i had to be with him-” just stop yourself right there, because you don’t have to be with him! don’t ever settle for being with someone who you just tolerate. don’t ever settle for being with a man who makes you say “i can put up with him, i can stand him. i can endure being with him”
the tolerable attraction idea is honestly so relatable and what blocked me from figuring out my own identity as a lesbian for the longest time. I was so sure I was straight or at least bi because if i really tried, really sat down and put effort into thinking about it i could maybe-kinda-sorta picture myself with a man in the future. but if you have to put effort into your attraction it… isn’t real attraction at that point.
good addition
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