All I want for my birthday is a fake molar with a buzzer inside that detects when my jaw opens to speak and zaps to remind me to ask myself, “Is this a necessary, articulate addition to the conversation?” before I make words happen.
All I want for my birthday is a fake molar with a cyanide capsule…I don’t wanna die or anything, I just wanna feel important.
If you trip and stub your toe, they’ll do an autopsy on your body and everyone will freak out thinking you were some kind of ineffable superspy.
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